Comments on: Blueberries, rehearsals and resolutions

By: Lee

Lee — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 17:46:00 +0000

Yes. Chelle is right. Guilt and regret have places in our psyches. Unless they weigh us down and hinder our other relationships, they make us better people.

I imagine everyone has these stories -- I, myself, used to have a friend, who for some reason I always made feel badly about herself. It was never intentional, but I do feel terribly about it and miss her very much.

Hopefully, in the end, all those times you do and say the Right Things at the Right Times out number the mis-steps.

By: chelle

chelle — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 13:56:00 +0000

I think the fact that you feel guilt rather than apathy is awesome. In the end it is about the PIE! Those blueberries look so yummy!

By: Pauline

Pauline — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 13:37:00 +0000

See how Stuntfather’s comment puts all else into perspective? (I had to laugh.) When in doubt, go with the gut…

By: Custancia

Custancia — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 07:49:00 +0000

It’s obvious that you are beating yourself up about how your hurt your friend. I’m not going to say that what you did wasn’t bad – it was. But you are human, imperfect, make mistakes. If (before this happened) another friend came to you and told you that she had done hurt a friend in this way – what would your reaction have been? You need to see it in perspective (without your understandable guilt and upset). We all have the power to be cruel, and to hurt. We usually make concious choices to avoid doing so. But occasionally getting it wrong, to realise the power we hold – makes us more thoughtful and a better person in the end.

Sorry – didn’t mean to preach (I think it strikes a chord in my own life, and I’m rationalising to myself as much as you!)

By: Stuntfather

Stuntfather — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 05:12:00 +0000

PIE!!

By: krista

krista — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:50:00 +0000

I love that picture of the blueberries! It is great. I especially like how some of the berries are red in colour- And Daniel- he looks so mature in that picture.

I'm terribly cynical too. It's funny how things llike weddings make us realize certain things. I realized how selfish I was during my brothers wedding. How hard I had to work to consciously put aside my own issues (like anxiety over delivering the speech, the troubles I had making the tags for the bombeneire, worries the baby would cry during the ceremony, stress about whether I can return the 100 dollars wirth of dress shoes I bought for the children that they'll never wear again...etc) ... um what was I saying again? Just kidding.

I had to consciously work at NOT talking about myself and my things. I had to pay specific attention to devote all energies to the bride. I think I did a fairly good job, but it made me realize how self absorbed I can be.

Holy cow. Sorry. I don't know what it is about your post that caused that flood gate erupt. Something about trying to be a better person...

Agh the baby just woke up. Damnit!

By: shara

shara — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:12:00 +0000

Once when I was a teenager I wrote horrible, corrosive words about my mother in my diary. One day, she was “turning the mattress” (uh huh) and found it, and it “fell open” (sure) and she read it, and I still feel bad about it, and it was decades ago, and my Mom died four years ago.

Once when I was worried that my daughter was upset at me, I read her diary. No excuses, I trespassed on her privacy and was hurt by the words she wrote. But then some time later I remembered what I had written about my own mother, whom I loved and still love dearly, and I comforted myself with the fact that it is pretty much impossible not to hurt the people you love most dearly, because we are imperfect, no matter how hard we try to be good.