On going goings on
The start of the new school year has been running like clockwork. Clockwork designed by Hieronymous Bosch or Francis Bacon with the hands all dripping pope blood and facing backwards or missing altogether, that is. Part of me is muttering about transitions being tough and another bit is starting to think that this is just what having four people on four different schedules is like. And it’s worrying.
Take today, as an example. I am already nursing the first cold of the school year and Helena stayed home with a rattly cough. I forgot to bring snack when we left to collect Daniel so we swung by WholeFoods, bought bagels and juice and set off for the next planet, which is where Daniel’s new school is. About ten minutes into the drive I heard a wapwap sound and went into immediate denial which lasted about a minute. I pulled off and yesindeedy, flat tire. In Arabic, a flat tire is an agala nayma, a sleeping tire, which sounds so innocent and restful. This tire, on the other hand, was aggressively flat. In yer face flat. I thanked the gods of technology for inventing the mobile phone and set about trying to get the number of Daniel’s new school, the number of the breakdown service and the number of my cool which had flown out the window at the first wapwap. Having figured out that I do have breakdown service and considering it was raining and I was on a crappy road, I thought hey! I can let someone else change my tire. Almost an hour later, in complete disgust, I stomped out of the car into the rain and mud, propped Helena up in a stroller with a tire iron, changed the damn tire in about ten minutes, called and yelled at the breakdown people and roared off down the road to get Daniel, nervous that he (who really fiercely dislikes disruptions to the routine) was not just unhappy but spreading it around.
Once at school, however, it was like entering into an oasis of educational calm and delight. Daniel had spent some time in the library and was now in another room with the other afterschool kids doing something with beads. He was calm, cheerful and in charge. The teachers were all lovely and comforting and sent us on our long way home with smiles and reassurances that missing the parent meeting tonight, in the circumstances, was completely all right.
We got home. I got the tire fixed in about twenty minutes at the place on the corner and tired children were in bed by seven while tired parents ate noodles and drank tea.
This is really what it’s been like. Roller coasters of chaos punctuated with moments of true grace. And those moments are, honestly, making it all worthwhile.
Yes, that’s exactly what parenting is like. Sleeping tires, mud, noodles and grace. Love it!
The first comment you made is really sticking with me: the fear that this is not really transition, but that this is what it is now to have kids in school. Drop off, go to bus stop, run around frantically, pick up, drop off, make life happen. I have never been this tired since my first kid was an infant. After the lazy days of summer, and the lovely years of moms-at-home-with-babies, this is a huge change.
Perhaps things will get better when my damn contractor gets the hell out of my kitchen and we can at least go back to having family meals.
The changes are making us more than a little flinty around here…
Ah, Liz may be right that having kids in school makes for harried days. My son is homeschooled so we kind of play each day by ear depending on how things are going. BUT…!!!
But I find myself exhausted and short-tempered anyway. Every time I try to change my flat tires, it has to turn into a learning fest complete with every question known to man about tire construction, the physics of jacks, etc. Once the tire is on, we’re off to the library to find out more ’cause clearly, Mama doesn’t know enough.
Noodles, tea, and grace are exactly what I need, too. Can I join you soon?
So, *so* happy that Daniel was having a good time at afterschool!
May I borrow the noodles, tea, and grace to create a motherhood poem?
Your piece made me laugh (in a compassionate way). I had four kids in school at once and I swear I passed myself on the road every day running some or all of them to after-school activities. It only picks up speed, til one day you find they’re all off to college and the house is empty and you sink into the silence of missing those wonderfully harried days.
Sleepy tire… That is interesting.
How did you know that random tidbit?
Sorry you got a flat tire though, that sucks.
Daniel- I am so happy to hear that your school is worth the long drive.
Yuck sucks about the flat tire. How kick a$$ is it that you changed it yourself, in the rain no less?!?! You go girl!
And how amazing Daniel totally relaxed about the lateness! Go Daniel! Sounds like a cool school!
May you never have another flat tire in the rain!
I had a vision the other day of getting a flat tire, and realized that I have no damned idea how to change it. This is one of those things I “should” learn to do ahead of time… but I probably won’t. I can’t believe you had to change it in the mud – or that no one stopped to help you!! I’m impressed though – you deserved something a little stronger than tea at the end of that day.
Last year, my middle daughter started kindergarten and this year her baby sister started, and last fall was much more difficult a change than this fall was. Of course that might have something to do with me having 7 free hours every weekday, which, after six years at home busy at full-time mothering, is an absolutely lovely thing. And seeing as how I’m not the type of mom (too lazy) to get the kids in all sorts of after-school activities, the driving is just morning and afternoon, about 10 minutes round trip.