In a way, though, I think the universe was getting her back for the comment she made to me one day not long before that, while all of us were in the car: “Mommy, I wish you were pretty like Barbie.”

Grr.

I can’t imagine the pressure of reaising a girl. You are like wonderwoman to me stunts.

Just a thought, or will you keep tossing your hair around?

It starts too soon, too soon.

And this Anonymous person has essentially proved a point about WHY we still have discussions about hair and gender. Sheesh.

I wasn’t the girliest of girls and, though I had very long hair, it was always kept in two Laura Ingalls braids, which I loved because they were killer weapons. My girls love the pink and frills and princesses. I look forward to the day that I can tell them the REAL story of the little mermaid and the not so subtle patriarchal themes found within.

Well, I’m rambling. But very sympathetic

Thank you for your comment and the book recommendation — I am off to the library!

Helena too CHOSE her haircut. In fact, she told the haircutter before she told me and the hair cutting person came to me looking worried for my okay. She hates to have her snarls combed out and her hair washed and short hair made sense when she saw how easy Daniel had it.

I don’t want to “take on” society via my children as such (although that’s a whole other post). I do, however, want them to be free to be who they are and make choices that make sense without reference to girlness or boyness.

Both my girls chose really short haircuts at various points. L did it in 2nd grade, and absolutely hated being mistaken for a boy. She quickly asked to get her ears pierced. I agreed and it did solve the problem. Of course, when all the other second grade girls asked their moms, I got some dirty looks, but nothing serious! L only went for the short cut once.

My younger daughter made the leap in 3rd grade, and has stuck with a very short cut for about a year. She also favors t-shirts and athletic pants and shorts. She thinks its hysterical when folks mistake her for a boy. A few months back we visited my sister in Dallas, and went shopping in a store full of cheap imports. The girls each had the princely sum of $20 to spend. E wandered around in sweats and a t-shirt, carrying an $8 tiara, as she looked for other things to buy. A true Texan male, about 60 years old, lean and strong looking, with clean jeans, a large buckle, cowboy shirt and hat, and a swagger that seemed to come from a strong, ranch life, approached me. In a voice that was tinged with something like horror he said “M’aam, your son has a tiara!” I paused, smiled sweetly, and said “Yes, I know.” E loves to tell that story. It makes us laugh hysterically. That poor guy probably chalks it up to a bunch of wild northerners grooming their kids for “a homosexual lifestyle.”

Good luck working through this with your girl. And again, read “Growing a Girl.”