The Hunt for (A)Red Job
In an amazing burst of almost psychic insight in the comments on the last post, Alto connected my not blogging with Ed’s job search. Indeed. I have not posted because there is a gorilla in the room who is in the way and that gorilla is the Job Offer and I’m not sure how ready I am to write about it. Certainly not in any coherent way. But on the basis that I blog to find out what I think, here goes. Perhaps clarity will ensue.
Ed has been offered a job at a good, small university somewhere in semi-rural PA (this is me exercising restraint on the whole life details on a blog thing). He got the offer on Friday night. We have a week to decide.
It is a good job and a job he wants and hey, for a graduate student, a job – ANY job – is like the Holy Grail. This job is like the Very Holy Grail (although not the Most Holy Grail with Extra Cheese and Anchovies which might be, oh I don’t know, Oxford say, although they’re not really Marxist enough there). So we are thrilled at the prospect of employment, at a happy ending to the years of Phidding and, not least, at solvency, which is something new we’d like to try. The place is groovy, they like him, it would mean a gentler, slower pace of life which I often think I would like, and which I’m pretty sure would benefit the children.
It would mean moving. Moving further away from the ocean, which I’m already too far away from, moving further away from all bits of my family, moving further away from an airport, moving away from Philadelphia and all that we have built here in the last six years. Moving away from our little house with all the colors I painted on the walls and the mural and the mosaic mirrors in the hallway and the bamboo floor we put down which we couldn’t afford. It would mean changing Daniel’s school and it would mean that we are staying the United States when we always said we were headed back to England when we were done, although that would also be scary and a big move for two children who have lived all their lives in the United States. There’s also no job offers from England, despite a few applications and Ed thinks (and his British professor agrees) that a few years from now, he will find it far easier to get a job in the UK and then we really can go home.
It would mean change, and I’m not good at change. But of course things have to change, and I am ready to make the change a good one.
Ah. Ho. And hum. I still don’t know what I think. But wish us luck as we find out.
Moving is always a big decision. But it sounds like a good opportunity…
I know that feeling in the gut so well; one minute it feels like elation, the next, dread. We moved eleven times while raising our five children. When they’re small, no problem; but moving a high schooler is a symptom of I.N.S.A.N.I.T.Y. Yours are still little–you’ll be fine….good luck!
oh, good luck with the decision making. I made a big move from NY to rurual OH…then again into a more populated area of OH which suits me more. The decision making-the letting go-that was the hardest part.
I always hear, ‘change is good’. I am no good with change either. But I do find that when I am brave enough to take a plunge, I am happy with my decision.
Your pros seem to outweigh your cons and you can always move back ‘home’ when the time is perfect. It seems your hubs needs some ‘teaching time’ under his belt before Oxford calls….get the experience then take Oxford by storm….That’s my humble opinion…It sounds like a great offer to boot.
Good luck and I wish you a content decision.
Thinking of you. So many decisions to make, and it sounds as though everyone else will benefit more directly than you will. So hard. I’m not sure I could leave the city at this stage in my life. Every time the possibility is mentioned, I have about 10 seconds of happiness contemplating a garden, followed by instant dread at having to drive everyplace, and some kind of of stubborn, urban snobbery I’ve adopted over the years.
Good luck, Stunts!
Completely self absorbed and bad at georgraphy I am: Does it make you any closer to me in Toronto?
Bamboo floor- that sounds delightful.
My husband and I went through a similar move last summer. His career had stalled in VA, and as he is in pharma, moving to Philly seemed inevitable. I’m from here, my family is here, but I was terribly ambivalent. I loved Richmond. I loved our city life. I loved our friends, and our lifestyle, and despite our poverty, I was really happy. I knew moving here was giving up a lot for me.
It took a good year to grieve Richmond and feel secure that my friends were still my friends, only further away. And now we are beginning to like it here. The feeling of driving a hot poker into my eye every time I drive into the subdivision has subsided a bit, and I have actually found a subversive friend or two in the vast anonymous suburbs. It’s still a work in progress, but I decided long ago to take the long view.
And my husband? Loves the job, loves the new career opportunities. His potential has exploded. This does much for his ego, which makes for a happier and satisifed man. And having some money isn’t bad either.
There’s just nothing that you are going to feel 100% about. Growing pains are just that. Painful. But growth. And people have to grow.
Change is hard but new opportunities always excite me. Good luck on your journey. It sounds like it will be a great one for all of you!
Thanks for filling us in on The Offer. Now, I used to live in semi-rural PA, right down the street from a fine liberal arts university (Bucknell). If you happen to be considering any school in that area (Lycoming College, Bloomsburg U., Susquehanna U., Bucknell U., etc.), let me know. I’ll be happy to share my knowledge with you.
I agree with the previous poster that you never feel 100% about any kind of big change. Even if it’s a great, wonderful change. Change is hard and scary. I always found accepting that to be the hardest part.
What’d'ya want to go to Oxford for?
Sheesh.
R
That was there for you.
I’m not blogging about a similar gorilla in the room. Paul wasn’t even looking yet, and something has dropped into his lap – something that found him. It’s putting a great big wrench in our plans, but it could be a miracle. We have much heavy thinking to do.
Congratulations. And just because you don’t like change doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You can do it. Semi-rural PA is lovely – just the sort of situation we hope to be in someday, if Paul ever gets to that PhD…
Oh no! It’s one of those I’m-happy-for-you-but-sad-for-me situations!! I hope you guys take the offer, but I will surely miss you! Do they have any good yarn shops out there??
Good luck with whatever you decide. It will be the right decision. (Not least because once you have made it – you will make it work).
Change is hard, but at the risk of quoting Tony Blair (I think) the one certain thing in a world of uncertainty is change. You’ve managed bigger changes than those facing you at the moment – you can do it again.
PS if you don’t move closer to me, do I get to come visit?