Taking turns
The children are currently taking turns. Not in a nice, oh my dear sister you go first. No, no big brother, you first, then me, way. No. More in a angel/devil thing. So Daniel will throw a tantrum about, say, dropping some pennies and Helena will blink innocently and say “I’m very good, aren’t I, Mummy? I don’t act like Daniel.” Or Helena will roar and throw all the covers off her bed and Daniel will smile beatifically and say, “Please tuck me in, Mummy. I will give you a kiss and a hug. I’m sorry Helena is behaving so horribly. I will tell her how to behave.”
It’s interesting to see this sibling rivalry so clearly. Not exactly sure what to do about it, although I am trying not to giggle at them. But seriously. Why can’t I just be all unreformed and uninformed and just stomp on through the parenting field, flattening children as I go? This wondering “how best to handle” every little fracking thing that rears its strange and smelly head is very wearing. I have more or less given up reading parenting books, except if they tell me to drink more and ignore squabbling children but for all my posing, what I really want is to be a decent enough mother so that my children don’t spend their adulthood recovering from their childhood.
Where can I buy that parenting book that tells me to drink more and ignore the squabbling? Where, where?
Give it up… no matter what you do your children will spend their adulthood recovering from their childhood–it’s called “finding yourself.”
Feel better?
Have I got the parenting book for you!
Haha, just kidding.
I’m home alone all week next week with the kids.
I anticipate feeling similar to what you’ve described.
We all spend our adulthood recovering from our childhood. That’s the way of the world.
Sibling squabbling happens a lot here in The Zone. Can you imagine what 3 boys can do to each other? Most of the time I tell them to work it out amongst themselves and not to involve me unless someone’s gotten too rough. You might try that tactic.
Oh boy, I hear you, man.
And by ‘man’ I mean ‘miss.’
You are the best writer. This first paragraph had me laughing out loud: a very rare occurrence when reading! I think you should be writing a funny how-to-parent manual yourself, along the lines of Amy Sedaris’s hostessing book. You have the stuff Stunt Mother!
My boys conduct the sibling war a little differently from your children. With them it is more mano a mano. My standard line is “Don’t bother me with this unless someone is bleeding. And it better be a lot of blood!” Now there’s a line for future therapists to enjoy dissecting!
I don’t know what to do either. You get this stuff in spades with twins. Alltogether now:
They fuck you up your Mum and Dad
They do not mean to but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had,
And add some extra just for you.
They were fucked up in their time… (cont. on the web)
Happy new year. And to the silent lurkers too.
R
What are therapists for, if not to tell us where our parents went wrong? You care about your kids, that’s the part that counts the most and the one constant thing they will remember and draw strength from. My mother advised me to be fair, firm, and consistent with my children. Occasionally I pulled off all three.
My big girls have not reached that phase yet. And here I thought it was supposed to get better!