MFMILF
Y’all can’t hang around here too long without surmising that I hate the term MILF. You can look here for the rant that ensued after I first heard the term. I’ve probably muttered elsewhere about how managing to achieve MILF status does not automatically confer coolness upon you and I’ve been known to waffle on in the comments of other blogs. Despite the fact that I abhor the term (and its British equivalent) I have (up-til-now) refrained from commenting on the burgeoning “Future MILF” movement popping up on some blogs because it’s pretty darn fundamental to my strange and sketchy belief system that we all get our jollies in different ways and whatever works for you is fine with me. Or at least, that I’m not about to turn up my semantic nose at a person who finds the idea of becoming a MILF somehow inspiring since I suspect that what we’re disagreeing about is basically a mode of expression. A way of saying something. Right?
I guess we’re going to find out. Motherhood Uncensored (you might know this) has a radio broadcast on Monday evenings and bloggers come on to debate timely and crucial parenting issues. And this coming (edited thanks to Eyeknit’s sharp eyes and sharper brain) TUESDAY (9 January) at 10:00 PM EST, I and the lovely, witty and not-all-that-cranky Rachael of CrankMama are going to debate our views of the term MILF. So tune in, call in but not if you’re going to call me names (other than, you know, goddess or nymph divine — those are okay).
How about Motherfucker. Can I call you that?
Mwa ha ha ha. (Evil laugh accompanied by seriously shady look).
krista – Ha!
stuntmother – I actually hated the term too. But I figure that by reclaiming it as our own term we take back the power. Sort of like Bitch the feminist Magazine.
Oh how fun!
Lotta, I’m glad you’re reclaiming it. I commented on the weight-loss entry about my wariness to wear the MILF label.
“But I’d really like it if people find me sexy without any reference to my offspring, and certainly not because of them.” Well said.
This is what irritates me. It’s as if you can still be fuckable IN SPITE OF your motherhood, if you keep yourself up. If you don’t seem too “motherly”- i.e. drained of energy, beauty, and wit.
It’s like saying “Gee, you really haven’t let yourself go even though you have given birth.I’d still hit that.”
Anyone who thinks MILF is an endearment isn’t looking at the subtext. There isn’t much dignity in taking what you can get.
Wherever I’ve seen conflict about this term, the argument for MILF is always something like “I’m hot, and I’m proud. If you don’t like the term, you must be (insert juvinile insult-ugly, jealous, prudish…).” This term then is allowed to divide women once again when they become mothers. And here I thought we were making progress after high school.
And I feel I am highly fuckable, but in my own right. And the neighborhood teenagers and my junior high students can save the compliment for those that want it, because motherhood not only made me sexier, it made me wiser.
I really liked your original post about the whole MILF phenomenon. I too felt like I had lost a bit of myself when I had my first child. I think I have sort of surrendered to the role of mother now that I have two. But I find the whole MILF thing distasteful too.
Yeah, I want to be desirable, but like Callie said, it shouldn’t be despite the fact that I am a mother. (or heaven forbid because I am one)
I am me, myself and I, not an appendage to a child or husband. In fact, I still have a mind that sometimes functions and a body that is trying to hold its own.
Anyway, keep that MILF title away from me, even if you mean well.
So you’re on at 5.30pm my time (GMT). Looks like I might be skipping out of work early!
It sure looks like you’re keeping up to your new year word!
I can’t wait to hear the show.
I too hate the word MILF.
I spent far too much of my youth worrying about whether HE found me attractive. Now, I have the pleasure of not having to constantly worry about it and I find it annoying when men try to “flatter” me with such a stupid term. I think I am attractive and so does my husband. But also funny, intelligent, talented, caring. Why should I care if some random person wants to fuck me? That’s no compliment IMO. I am (thankfully) beyond needing the attention of random and unimportant people. I know whom I love and I know who loves me and that’s that. I also think there is something arrogant about something thinking it should matter to me whether he would fuck me.
What Venessa said! I hate MILF!
I’m approaching 50, and I’ll tell you that if you don’t get beyond needing the attentions of random men to feel good about yourself, you are setting yourself up for way too many hours in the gym, way too many clothes you look ridiculous in, and way too many bucks spent on plastic surgery!
Live your life for YOU and for those you love!
Dearest Francesca,
It will be so much fun talking to you, I’m not sure I’ll be able to muster any real debate.
-RAchael
CrankMama
Have I said I love you enough? Cause I do. Okay – where have I been? – but I managed to not hear this term until the last week. I don’t even know how I missed your other posts about it (which were brilliant, btw).
The thing is, I want to be attractive as much as any woman (with or without kids – hello?), but my God, I’d want to slap the crap outta any guy who’d have the nerve to think I’d find that term a compliment. It’s nauseating. Not to mention just downright icky.
Wait! Monday the 8th, or Tuesday the 9th? I don’t want to miss it.
Yah…I am boggled about how quickly MILF became part of the common lexicon that seemed to happily replaced Soccer Mom or Yummy Mummy.
I can’t because I remember the first time dh and I saw it was on an online porn site called MILF in which apprently REAL mom bared their all for those who thought they were fuckable.
The image has never left me.
And while I would like to think I am ‘fuckable’ I don’t really want sleazy online porn guys thinking that.