Comments on: Fear

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 20:12:00 +0000

I know this path well, and I send my heart to yours. Remember: take care of yourself first or you cannot care for others. Resources abound for information; help is a bit more difficult to come by. I offer my support for all the years to come. Love lasts. B

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:07:00 +0000

I am so sorry. This seems to me to be the most damaging disease. I’m watching it happen with my mother-in law and the fear of it happening to my mother gives me palpitations.

Take care of yourself. Hugs to you from a little bit west in Ohio…

By: The Purloined Letter

The Purloined Letter — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:50:00 +0000

You are in such an incredibly hard place. We'll all keep you in our thoughts.

When I am overwhelmed with sadness about the almost-total-loss of someone I love, I try to remember how much my mother loved having her demented grandmother live with them when Mom was a child. If mom put on a costume from the dress-up box including a hat, knocked on the door, and introduced herself as Miss Brown or Miss Green, her grandmother would immediately be on best company behavior. My mother and her demented grandmother would spend the afternoon having tea. Both loved the visits.

I was named for this great-grandmother.

By: Mighty Momogus

Mighty Momogus — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:59:00 +0000

It makes my heart ache for you that you have to go through this. I agree with Liz – there’s no one way that’s easier for everyone left behind. Slow or fast, it’s going to hurt like a bugger no matter what.

When my mom was dying, my hugest fear was what would happen afterwards to me. I thought that there would be a gigantic black hole that would just swallow me up because I couldn’t imagine living without my beloved mom around. The good/sad part of the process is that you do go on. The sun sets and the sun rises, and you can’t stop it. You get carried along, and the black hole doesn’t swallow you up.

That’s not to say life’s a party, but it didn’t end for me with her death. Your lovely husband and kids and sister(s?) will be what gets you through.

By: Alto2

Alto2 — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:38:00 +0000

It’s amazing how some childhood fears color our whole existence. I am so sad to read about your mom. Losing her mind faster than her body is devastating. I agree with all the others who have said, in principle, that “Love endures.”

Keep reminding yourself, and her, and your children, of this: “My love for you is the greatest power of all.”

By: nyjlm

nyjlm — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 18:07:00 +0000

I’m so sorry- it is so scary, and so huge. I too have always lived in fear of the what ifs, and find the certainty of my parents’ deaths terrifying.
When my grandfather died I had this very strong image of my mother, her sister, and her brother being truly alone in the world. Even though they have each other and the rest of our family- without their parents it seemed to me that they weren’t tethered to the world somehow.

By: n.b.

n.b. — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:33:00 +0000

So so sorry. I’m just starting to deal with perhaps a similar situation. Almost unbearable worry and sadness. Loaded on top of the already tottering pile of daily stress.

By: daisies

daisies — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 16:30:00 +0000

i am so sorry ~ warm hugs … xox

By: Pauline

Pauline — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 10:57:00 +0000

What can you do but love her as much as you can? Love is the one thing that is never wasted.

By: alimum

alimum — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 02:54:00 +0000

I am so sorry.