There’s no I in fun.
All right, so who stole me and replaced me with this substandard, cranky ass, lazypants, no good fer nothing but eating too much peanut butter laced ice cream, Target-on-sale PJ-wearing non-posting, boring ol’ whiny fuddy duddy who’s all moan moan moan and no amusing anecdotes about boys in ballet class or Junie B. Freakin’Jones.
Seriously. And why didn’t you tell me, you very nice bunch of loyal despite all provocation blogfriends, that my granny pants were showing?
I had a look at an old blog post and man almighty it was a fine piece of blog-type dribbling. I hain’t done nothing that good since I found out I was moving and my head disappeared up my sad sad soggy navel. That was a too sharp moment of that was then and this is your stretchmarked ass. Not fun. It’s definitely time for some margaritas and Sex Pistols karaoke round here at the old StuntFarm.
It’s not like that’s news to me exactly. Yesterday, the NYTimes Crossword puzzle (which yes, I am now doing like it was medication) was looking for a three letter prefix for tonic and you know I yelled GIN and started to write it in before any non-alcoholic brain cell could wake up and say whoa. (In fact, they were looking for “iso” which made me feel guilty that I wasn’t exercising WHILE doing the crossword. And yes, that’s how bad it’s got that like some crazed Wall Street blue-shirt, I suddenly considered doing the crossword while exercising, and perhaps while also calling my broker and drinking something with spirulina in it.)
Of course, I’m all for the idea that there’s a time for this and a time for that. A time for gin and a time for (iso)tonic but I’m thinking that maybe it’s time to make a small gesture towards foregoing grumpy, and bringing on the party. My deepening frown wrinkles need balancing with a new set of laugh lines. To keep the balance.
PS. To those of you whose blogs I have not haunted recently? It’s not you. I haven’t been on a good blog-crawl in way too long. It’s hard to read blogs when your head is firmly and deeply embedded in your ass. But I’ve got a flashlight now, and a small, slightly smudged map. So I think there’s light at the end of this, um, tunnel.
You’re killing me with th efunny.
Sorry it’s been so grumpypants for you, and I would have been right in there with the GIN, too. Medicinal, that.
Hope you’re well and truly on the rise out of the funk…for your sake, of course. We’ll all just keep showing up to hear.
bravo you…
and really,
we’ve all been there.
you’re just as funny and clever in a funk as out – besides, if you can’t be a grumpyass with your friends (blog or otherwise) what kind of friends are they?
You know what’s funny about blogs? You write something, re-read it, and decide you are complete wet piece of lint. (At least I do.)
But the other neat-o thing about blogland is that friends never EVER think you are a complete wet piece of lint. I have missed you, even in your grumpy navelish glory. So let me sing “Anarchy in the UK” and I’ll stick to vodka.
It’ll be fun.
what does it say about me that it has taken me a year to realize I’d fallen into a black hole? I’m thinking you’re ahead of the game by being so self aware
Fritz, pass the vodka.
At our yoga class the other day the teacher said (several times actually) that you don’t stop laughing because you get old–you get old because you stop laughing. Your post made me think of it again.
So, yes, on with the G&T or whatever else it takes to keep laughing.
I had the same reaction to that clue in the crossword puzzle, though the idea of a gin and tonic at 7 am was more than even I could bear.
Shame on you for making me want to exercise while doing the puzzle. One more lazy pleasure tainted by my overwhelming guilt about being a slug.
Very fetching grannypants you’ve got there.
Mwwaa-ha-ha-ha – I am still smiling that you thought “gin,” and even more so since I’m afraid I’d be right there with ya.
Sometimes I just have to take a deep disgusted breath and think “I am doing the goddamned best I can. Dammit.” I feel those words bounce around my head and wonder if they are an echo or a smartass retort from my tired brain. Who knows? But either way, I’ll say it here – Bloody hell, we are doing the best we can! Dammit! And where the hell is that gin?!?
Ha! Way before you got to the ‘iso-’ part, I’d also plumped for GIN.
That just makes us sophisticated, worldly women who know a good cool drink on a hot day when we see one.
Isotonic indeed!! Where’s the fun in that???