Comments on: My child, my little one, my own http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/ the writing life with extra crunchy bits Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:50:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Hope http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-3025 Hope Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:00:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-3025 I needed to read this. Glad I foundyour blog. Gonna go get my Barbra Colorosa book...I think I missed something...lol I needed to read this. Glad I foundyour blog. Gonna go get my Barbra Colorosa book…I think I missed something…lol

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-3002 Anonymous Thu, 18 Oct 2007 21:38:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-3002 Oh that's true. The system loves a pleaser, and I know, I was one all through school, with my family, everyone. Full on conflict avoidance. And now I'm so tired of trying to please, and find that in reality, there are people that attack you regardless of what you do. And my spirit now wants to flail my arms and elbows around.<br/>-Miranda Oh that’s true. The system loves a pleaser, and I know, I was one all through school, with my family, everyone. Full on conflict avoidance. And now I’m so tired of trying to please, and find that in reality, there are people that attack you regardless of what you do. And my spirit now wants to flail my arms and elbows around.
-Miranda

]]> By: Excellent Walker http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2993 Excellent Walker Tue, 16 Oct 2007 16:02:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2993 You know, turning this around, it may turn out to be for the good that Daniel is so difficult about school right now. I was good at school. I understood it, and could give teachers and the rest what they wanted. No problems here. But then, was I expressing who I was? No. I was preparing myself for a life of figuring out what other people want and giving it to them.<br/><br/>Which is not to say that I don't have massive sympathy for teachers (and for you). They're trying to do something that's very worthwhile, and a lot of them are concerned about the whole child and not just ticking off the appropriate milestones, but "the system" is really about making round pegs for the round holes, and what do we, as individuals and as a society, lose out on when that system works? You know, turning this around, it may turn out to be for the good that Daniel is so difficult about school right now. I was good at school. I understood it, and could give teachers and the rest what they wanted. No problems here. But then, was I expressing who I was? No. I was preparing myself for a life of figuring out what other people want and giving it to them.

Which is not to say that I don’t have massive sympathy for teachers (and for you). They’re trying to do something that’s very worthwhile, and a lot of them are concerned about the whole child and not just ticking off the appropriate milestones, but “the system” is really about making round pegs for the round holes, and what do we, as individuals and as a society, lose out on when that system works?

]]> By: rivergirlie http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2986 rivergirlie Mon, 15 Oct 2007 21:12:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2986 some people get fixated on what's not there in a child - it's like looking at a donut and seeing only the hole. it's what he IS that's important - and he sounds delicious, in his own special donut way. x some people get fixated on what’s not there in a child – it’s like looking at a donut and seeing only the hole. it’s what he IS that’s important – and he sounds delicious, in his own special donut way. x

]]> By: The Purloined Letter http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2985 The Purloined Letter Mon, 15 Oct 2007 19:31:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2985 You know, true brilliance is awfully hard to manage in the classroom. <br/><br/>And yes, well, brilliance sometimes gets some of its odd luster from a streak of "issues"--or at least that is how I try to justify my own and my loved ones' OCDish aspergery crazyish need-a-day-in-bed kind of symptoms....<br/><br/>There are times when it is useful to know how to hide one's issues, and that does come with age.<br/><br/>(Off to post Mizmell's comment on my bulletin board. She's summarized what you've been saying for a long time, and ain't it the truth.) You know, true brilliance is awfully hard to manage in the classroom.

And yes, well, brilliance sometimes gets some of its odd luster from a streak of “issues”–or at least that is how I try to justify my own and my loved ones’ OCDish aspergery crazyish need-a-day-in-bed kind of symptoms….

There are times when it is useful to know how to hide one’s issues, and that does come with age.

(Off to post Mizmell’s comment on my bulletin board. She’s summarized what you’ve been saying for a long time, and ain’t it the truth.)

]]> By: Nancy Bea http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2984 Nancy Bea Mon, 15 Oct 2007 12:45:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2984 Wow, so tough. Your point of view is right as a parent...loving him is the best way. Of course, you can't expect a teacher, <i>any</i> teacher (unless you have him enrolled in the Clones of Mother Theresa Academy) to love him as calmly and unconditionally as you do. She may like him very much indeed, but he is in an environment where his behavior must conform to a norm, because she also has the responsibility to teach and manage 19 or so other children equally worthy of her time and attention.<br/><br/>Sorry to be imp's advocate here. I am fully sympathetic to your situation, truly, and am in similar shoes myself. Here's a little tip: sometimes if you just tell the teacher you have an appointment for your child with a doctor (or therapist or whatever) they relax, and everything seems to go better. Even before said appointment actually takes place. Wow, so tough. Your point of view is right as a parent…loving him is the best way. Of course, you can’t expect a teacher, any teacher (unless you have him enrolled in the Clones of Mother Theresa Academy) to love him as calmly and unconditionally as you do. She may like him very much indeed, but he is in an environment where his behavior must conform to a norm, because she also has the responsibility to teach and manage 19 or so other children equally worthy of her time and attention.

Sorry to be imp’s advocate here. I am fully sympathetic to your situation, truly, and am in similar shoes myself. Here’s a little tip: sometimes if you just tell the teacher you have an appointment for your child with a doctor (or therapist or whatever) they relax, and everything seems to go better. Even before said appointment actually takes place.

]]> By: karrie http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2983 karrie Mon, 15 Oct 2007 00:01:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2983 Indeed. <br/><br/>I'm happy to come fix the teacher by banging her against a concrete wall or two. ;) Indeed.

I’m happy to come fix the teacher by banging her against a concrete wall or two. ;)

]]> By: gkgirl http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2982 gkgirl Sun, 14 Oct 2007 17:36:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2982 i thought your post was wonderful<br/>and that daniel is so lucky to have you... i thought your post was wonderful
and that daniel is so lucky to have you…

]]> By: Redsy (formerly CrankMama) http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2981 Redsy (formerly CrankMama) Sat, 13 Oct 2007 23:45:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2981 So beautiful, Francesca... All children should be as lucky as Daniel in their parents<br/><br/>-Rachael So beautiful, Francesca… All children should be as lucky as Daniel in their parents

-Rachael

]]> By: Zany Mom http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/11/my-child-my-little-one-my-own/comment-page-1/#comment-2980 Zany Mom Sat, 13 Oct 2007 21:56:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=531#comment-2980 Daniel may be the square peg that doesn't fit in the round hole of school. His teachers can't love him the way you do.<br/><br/>Maybe he needs to be home, with his mom, where he can be loved, appreciated, and celebrated for who he is, without others making him think there is something wrong with him. Daniel may be the square peg that doesn’t fit in the round hole of school. His teachers can’t love him the way you do.

Maybe he needs to be home, with his mom, where he can be loved, appreciated, and celebrated for who he is, without others making him think there is something wrong with him.

]]>