What constitutes a cure?
When I was a child and my asthma was bad, we’d go to the doctor. Immediately I walked into the waiting room, I’d start to feel better. I’d feel so much better that I would feel bad that we’d come to the doctor at all, that we were bothering the doctor and I’d hold my breath (what I had of it) to make it seem more legitimate that we’d actually come about my breathing. Which is definitely weird, I know. But that’s not the point. The point is that just knowing help was available was enough to make me relax, stop worrying and start to feel better.
What it is about admitting that you need help that makes the help so much less necessary? The power of surrendering is amazing. Perhaps there is a small miracle in there — that the bit of me that hates to ask for help, that needs to be quite all right, Jack, is in fact the bit that most needs the comfort of knowing that it’s all right to need help.
Things are perking up around here a bit. Not sure why. Haven’t actually managed to organize anything helpful. Just admitted I could probably use some. And there’s some very good ice cream in the freezer.
My kids do that too – they always perk up at the doctor’s. It makes me think that taking them to the doctor is merely symbolic.
Glad to hear that things are getting better and there is an inkling of help around for you. Mine arrives next week, from South Africa, and I can’t wait.
Ask for help….?
I find that really hard to do. It drives my friends and family crazy, but after 11 years with just my kids and me, I’m used to having no one else but me being the the person where the buck stops. I’m glad that you’re feeling positive. It’s always a good feeling.
This makes great sense to me. I’ve been looking at my own anxiety and admittedly mild depression more closely these past few months…noticing the patterns. And one thing has come clear–admitting that I’m overwhelmed and need a hand really does make it light years better. If only I can remember to do so before I’m spiraled down too far, which again, I admit that in comparison to a lot of others isn’t so far. But it’s not my best and I don’t feel well…
Ice cream definitely helps.
So glad you posted this.
I think it’s very freeing to acknowledge that sometimes we just can’t do it all. Because then you don’t have to, right? But ice cream… that is good medicine.
I think there’s a real catch 22. We’re brought up, encouraged, to be competent, independent women. But then we have to learn the hard way that actually “no woman is an island” (Ok paraphased a bit!) and that we do need other people. But by then, recognising that we need them, and being able to ask for help is a really big, hard thing to do. And that being able to do that makes us proper grown up, competent woman.
And you’re right – sometimes just being clear that something is wrong, and making the decision to get help because something needs to be different means you’ve turned the corner.
I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. I hope you get the help you need, if you still need it.