Comments on: Hey ho http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/30/hey-ho/ the writing life with extra crunchy bits Mon, 09 Aug 2010 19:12:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: nyjlm http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/30/hey-ho/comment-page-1/#comment-3037 nyjlm Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:10:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=538#comment-3037 My dd is a huge ball of emotions. My day either goes to hell or succeeds based on my ability to weather her flash points. <br/><br/>we aren't the keeper of their emotional well-being (which would do me some good to remember), buuuut I know that 1- I need to handle my emotions well to make it through the day without my own meltdown. 2- If it is hard for me, it makes sense that it would be hard for her (not because she's a kid, but because it is hard for people, period). 3- I do believe that if I can model grappling with my challenging emotions it will help her in the long run. It may kill me first tho!<br/><br/>One thing I'm mostly free of though, is the thought that her volatility is my fault. It's just her. She's always been "more" and this is how it comes out. I don't know I can truly change it, but I'd like to show her more acceptable (to me lol) ways of handling it. <br/><br/>Motherhood is one job where you won't know if you screwed up till it is too late. joy. My dd is a huge ball of emotions. My day either goes to hell or succeeds based on my ability to weather her flash points.

we aren’t the keeper of their emotional well-being (which would do me some good to remember), buuuut I know that 1- I need to handle my emotions well to make it through the day without my own meltdown. 2- If it is hard for me, it makes sense that it would be hard for her (not because she’s a kid, but because it is hard for people, period). 3- I do believe that if I can model grappling with my challenging emotions it will help her in the long run. It may kill me first tho!

One thing I’m mostly free of though, is the thought that her volatility is my fault. It’s just her. She’s always been “more” and this is how it comes out. I don’t know I can truly change it, but I’d like to show her more acceptable (to me lol) ways of handling it.

Motherhood is one job where you won’t know if you screwed up till it is too late. joy.

]]> By: anmiryam http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/30/hey-ho/comment-page-1/#comment-3034 anmiryam Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:31:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=538#comment-3034 Damn, I can't even manage to leave a comment, so your ahead of me (blogger apparently ate my heart wrenching commiseration)<br/><br/>Oh, well, maybe it's better that way. Know that I not only sympathize, but completely identify with your situation. If you are able to quiet the "perfect isn't good enough" voice, let me know how.<br/><br/>Time to sign up for NaNoWriMO and NaBloPoMo -- for the fun of it of course. Damn, I can’t even manage to leave a comment, so your ahead of me (blogger apparently ate my heart wrenching commiseration)

Oh, well, maybe it’s better that way. Know that I not only sympathize, but completely identify with your situation. If you are able to quiet the “perfect isn’t good enough” voice, let me know how.

Time to sign up for NaNoWriMO and NaBloPoMo — for the fun of it of course.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/30/hey-ho/comment-page-1/#comment-3031 Anonymous Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:30:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=538#comment-3031 Maybe you should abuse yourself some more and read that wayne dyer parenting book, and let your inner critic gobble up all the things you're doing wrong and torture you with them?<br/><br/>Ahhh, remember that book?<br/><br/>Good points in the book, but seriously, could he make parents feel any more inadequate!?<br/><br/>Looking forward to your company too over nablopomo. in the very middle of november i am having a mad weekend love getaway with someone (likely you know who it is- i emailed about him to you awhile ago) and I am a little freaked about how to manage to get the blogging time in that weekend- like- excuse me lover- um- i need to blog- i know you flew here from afar to see me, but I have blogging priorities...<br/><br/>ahhh, nablopomo. Maybe you should abuse yourself some more and read that wayne dyer parenting book, and let your inner critic gobble up all the things you’re doing wrong and torture you with them?

Ahhh, remember that book?

Good points in the book, but seriously, could he make parents feel any more inadequate!?

Looking forward to your company too over nablopomo. in the very middle of november i am having a mad weekend love getaway with someone (likely you know who it is- i emailed about him to you awhile ago) and I am a little freaked about how to manage to get the blogging time in that weekend- like- excuse me lover- um- i need to blog- i know you flew here from afar to see me, but I have blogging priorities…

ahhh, nablopomo.

]]> By: Charlotte http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/2007/10/30/hey-ho/comment-page-1/#comment-3029 Charlotte Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:30:00 +0000 http://www.francescaamendolia.com/blog/?p=538#comment-3029 I think you forgot to mention that that linen was perfectly pressed and pure white! I am so not one of those people.<br/><br/>But yes, it takes a bit of self-discipline to learn that we are not the keeper's of everyone's states of being. One thing I try to remember always is "I act and speak with integrity, and how people choose to act and react to that is their decision". However, I do find it hard to practise with regard to my kids since they aren't grown-ups and do rely on me for most everything.<br/><br/>I suppose our job is to equip them as best we can, and then let them to it. Even if it hurts. I think you forgot to mention that that linen was perfectly pressed and pure white! I am so not one of those people.

But yes, it takes a bit of self-discipline to learn that we are not the keeper’s of everyone’s states of being. One thing I try to remember always is “I act and speak with integrity, and how people choose to act and react to that is their decision”. However, I do find it hard to practise with regard to my kids since they aren’t grown-ups and do rely on me for most everything.

I suppose our job is to equip them as best we can, and then let them to it. Even if it hurts.

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