Swimmingly
We’re not a sporty clan. Ed has probably never thrown a baseball to either child. For that matter, neither have I. Recently, we were at a friend’s house and the very nice dad tried to throw a football to Daniel who reacted to the missile as if it were, well, a missile. I should probably have my American license revoked, honestly. It’s not likely to change, though, so I can’t get too worked up about it. Ed has been known to kick a soccer ball around so we will have to play footie and embrace our European side.
But swimming? Well, that’s a parenting must-do. Only sporting skill that can save your life. (Unless someone, you know, threatens to kneecap with extreme prejudice you unless you hit a homer, but that’s pretty unlikely. They are just as likely to threaten to kneecap you if you don’t decline this Latin verb.) So this summer the children did these lovely group swim lessons at the local pool. Helena did quite well (so long as you don’t ask her to jump in) and is not exactly swimming, but will happily bob along in water she can stand in. Daniel put his various teachers through the wringer as he clung to them, strangled them, screamed at them and sobbed at them, but emerged from each lesson cheerful and triumphant and ready for the next one, so the lessons carried on. He could probably swim three or so feet now, without too much angst so long — and this is important — as he can also stand in the water he’s swimming in, which he has defined as 4’3″ of water and shallower. At 4’4″ he starts panicking. And sinking. And screaming.
So that’s his limit. It’s all right. It’s not that bad. And I saw what some of you have very wisely pointed out. That if I could simply tell his instructors that he has Aspergers’ Syndrome (where does that apostrophe go?) then they’d be more ready for him and wouldn’t maybe ask him to do things that he simply will NOT do. Like jump into the pool in 5 feet of water. He just won’t. And the shortcut to explaining that to them would have been incredibly useful.
It’s all about limits. Skills. Knowing who you are and what you are likely — or unlikely — to be able to do.
Hang in there – this must be incredibly hard – labeling this most perfect thing you created and is yours, he will gain wings and soar.
it sounds like Daniel has come a long way with swimming this summer! I think something amazing comes when we respect limits- our own and others’- things unfold as we hope they do, and with a lot less work.
In UK English, there isn’t an apostrophe. There isn’t an s. It is technically Asperger Syndrome. But I always mispell it! (I’ve had to set my PC at work to spell check for the correct version so I can look competent!)
hey, dont sell yourself short. I myself have played freeze tag with ALL of you. thats a sport, right? i mean, if rythmic gymnastics and motorcross get to go to the olympics cant we call freeze tag a sport?w
just needed to say hi, and tell you i love you still.
and also, that i miss you.
still missing you and thinking of you… xoxo how are you? do you hyave my email address.
I’m so, so proud of you. Atta girl.