(transition
or preparation music: You're
Much Too Young by The Specials)
There
is a tree on a suburban street, probably not too far from the house. Sarah is in her late
twenties, dressed in
weekend clothes, sitting (in the tree) comfortably and eating an apple. She sits like she has been
sitting in trees
all her life - and like she has no intention of coming down. David, her husband, is
also in his late 20s,
nice but a little nervous. He's
in end
of the day work clothes. This
shakes his
view of the universe.
DAVID
Sarah?
SARAH
Hey.
DAVID
I
thought that was you. I
saw you...from the window. So
I came to see...
SARAH
What?
DAVID
...what
you're doing.
SARAH
Eating
an apple.
DAVID
No,
I mean, what are you doing in that
tree?
SARAH
(shrugs)
DAVID
Are
you okay?
SARAH
Yes.
DAVID
You
sure?
SARAH
Yes.
Why?
DAVID
It's
just...
SARAH
What?
DAVID
It's
just that you're sitting in a
tree. I mean, I
don't know for certain,
but it doesn't strike me as a good sign.
(pause) Are
you coming down?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
No?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
Why?
SARAH
Because.
DAVID
That's
not an answer.
SARAH
Catch.
(tosses him the apple core)
DAVID
(fumbling
the catch) Yech.
SARAH
Don't
drop it. Put it in
the garbage.
DAVID
No.
SARAH
Why
not?
DAVID
I'm
not touching that.
SARAH
It's
just an apple core.
DAVID
A
chewed apple core.
SARAH
Chewed
by me. It's a lot
less gross than you using my
toothbrush and I know you've done that.
DAVID
Okay,
okay. (Making
faces, he picks up apple core, looks
around, no bin, tosses it into a bush.
Sees Sarah looking at him.)
What? It's
organic.
SARAH
What
are you going to do when you have a
child and your child throws up in the car? Or in the bed? Or eats a
piece of
apple and then decides it doesn't want it and spits out into your hand
a half
chewed glob of apple and child spittle?
DAVID
(makes
disgusted face) Kids
do that?
SARAH
Yes.
DAVID
Oh.
We couldn't make those things Mommy jobs?
SARAH
No
way in hell.
DAVID
Maybe
we should rethink the whole
children thing.
SARAH
Do
you want to?
DAVID
No.
I want to have beautiful babies with you.
Soon, maybe?
SARAH
Maybe
not that soon.
DAVID
(light
dawns - or so he thinks) Oh
- you got your period. I'm
sorry, sweetie. But
don't feel bad. We
can keep trying.
SARAH
I
didn't get my period. You
think I'd be sitting in a tree if I had
my period?
DAVID
No.
I guess not.
SARAH
Right.
DAVID
Of
course, I wouldn't think you'd be
sitting in a tree at all.
SARAH
True.
DAVID
So
what's wrong?
SARAH
Nothing's
wrong.
DAVID
Have
I done something?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
Anything
happen today?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
Your
mother call?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
Oh
no.
Did MY mother call?
SARAH
(laughs)
No.
DAVID
Oh.
Good. (pause) So why won't you come down?
SARAH
Why
should I?
DAVID
Well,
for one, my neck is really
hurting. I've been
at work for an entire
Saturday and I would really rather be talking to my wife on the couch,
maybe
even with a beer, than standing in the street trying to figure out why
she's
sitting in a tree. And
why is she
sitting in a tree? We
don't know. So,
let's approach this logically. What
would make a grown woman decide to climb
a tree?
SARAH
I
don't know. A
sarcastic husband, maybe?
DAVID
I'm
not being sarcastic, I really want -
oh look. Great. Mrs. Gottlieb has come out
to have a little
look. Now the whole
block will know that
you're in a tree and that I am a complete idiot.
(calling)
Hello Mrs. Gottlieb!
Yes, it's a
very nice day. Say
hello, Sarah.
SARAH
(cheerfully) Hello Mrs. Gottlieb.
DAVID
No,
nothing wrong. We're
fine.
How's the cat's arthritis?
Had
her put to sleep yet?
SARAH
David!
Be nice. She's
just bored.
DAVID
Oh.
Is that why you're doing this?
Entertainment for the elderly?
Some people might bring cookies to an old age home. You bring them performance
art.
SARAH
If
you're going to be sarcastic you can
go away.
DAVID
Okay,
fine, I will. You
can just sit up there till your butt goes
numb.
SARAH
It's
numb now.
DAVID
Really?
SARAH
Yes.
It's tingling.
DAVID
You
should rub it.
SARAH
What?
DAVID
It
helps.
SARAH
If
I tried to rub it, I'd probably fall
out.
DAVID
I'd
catch you.
SARAH
No.
DAVID
I'd
try anyway.
SARAH
You'd
probably collapse under the
immense weight.
DAVID
(recognizes
trap) No I wouldn't. I'd catch you, no problem. (demonstrates) Gotcha.
Child's play.
SARAH
I'm
not a child.
DAVID
I
didn't say you were.
SARAH
I'm
not.
DAVID
I
know.
SARAH
Am
I?
DAVID
What?
SARAH
A
child?
DAVID
No,
you're a woman.
SARAH
I'm
in a tree.
DAVID
Yes.
SARAH
I'm
not coming down.
DAVID
You
said.
SARAH
You
don't think that's childish?
DAVID
Well...
SARAH
Don't
you?
DAVID
Maybe
a little.
SARAH
Well
then.
DAVID
What?
SARAH
You
don't get it?
DAVID
No.
SARAH
So
forget it.
DAVID
No.
Tell me.
SARAH
No.
DAVID
Sarah,
please? You can't
expect me to have any idea why
you're in that tree. If
you were on the
couch, playing, I don't know, Nina Simone, on the CD player I might
have some
clue as to what the problem is. But
this
is new. This
particular situation does not
have a history in our relationship.
So
just tell me. I
want to know. But I
can't know unless you tell me. (pause)
Please? (grips
her foot. Pause.)
SARAH
Guess.
DAVID
What?
SARAH
Guess.
DAVID
Guess?
You want me to guess?
Okay,
okay. You were
heroically trying to save
Mrs. Gottlieb's foul, smelly, arthritic cat, stuck up the tree, from a
timely
death. No - that's
too sensible. You
got chased up there by a killer mongoose.
Wait - You got blisters and thought you'd
swing home through the trees like Tarzan.
SARAH
Like
Jane. Or don't you
think women can swing through
trees as well as men can?
DAVID
Sarah!
That's not fair.
SARAH
I
know.
DAVID
You
can be so infuriating.
SARAH
I
don't mean to be.
DAVID
Are
you sure you're not angry at me?
SARAH
(taken
aback) No. I
don't think so.
DAVID
I'm
sorry I had to go into work
today. The Italian
glove people I've
been talking about are coming in on Monday and my presentation has to
be
just...you know...mind-blowing.
SARAH
I
know.
It's okay.
DAVID
And
I know I've been working really long
hours the last few weeks.
SARAH
David-
DAVID
But
things will lighten up a lot after
Monday. Once this
presentation is out of
the way, my hours should get a lot more normal.
SARAH
David-
DAVID
What?
SARAH
It's
okay.
DAVID
It
is?
You're not mad?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
You
sure?
SARAH
Yes.
Really.
DAVID
You're
not sitting in that tree because
you're mad?
SARAH
No.
DAVID
That's
good. I'm glad. So
why are you in the tree, then?
SARAH
I
don't...things. Stuff.
DAVID
Stuff.
SARAH
(nods
- head down. Might
start crying)
DAVID
Hey
sweetie. It's okay.
We've both been working too hard, you know. Haven't been
spending enough
time together. We
should go away for the
weekend. Go upstate
maybe. Someone at
work's been to this really nice
inn in um, Barnville, I think, the something Inn, The Blackberry Inn? The Blueberry Inn? Can't remember. Some berry anyway.
SARAH
Okay.
That'd be nice.
DAVID
Maybe
next weekend. We
could go away early, take the Friday off,
go walking. See the
leaves
changing. You could
see them right up
close.
SARAH
(smiles)
Okay. I
think I can get Friday
off.
DAVID
Of
course, you'd have to come down from
the tree first.
SARAH
Oh.
Well, I'll think about it.
DAVID
Tell
you what. I'll cook
dinner tonight.
SARAH
Okay.
What?
DAVID
Whatever
you want.
SARAH
Really?
What about eggplant?
DAVID
You
want eggplant for dinner?
SARAH
Yes.
I feel like eggplant.
DAVID
Okay.
Just whole oven roasted eggplant or you want anything done
to your
eggplant?
SARAH
Don't
mind.
DAVID
Eggplant
stir-fry?
SARAH
(makes
a face)
DAVID
Stuffed
eggplant?
SARAH
Stuffed
with what?
DAVID
More
eggplant?
SARAH
Nah.
Overkill.
DAVID
Eggplant
lasagna? Heavy on
the mozzarella?
SARAH
Yum.
And foccaccia with lots of garlic butter.
DAVID
And
a little white Zinfandel?
SARAH
Water.
DAVID
And
for dessert?
SARAH
Pralines
and cream no fat frozen yogurt.
DAVID
A
predictable, yet acceptable
choice. Do we have
any in the freezer?
SARAH
I
ate it.
DAVID
When?
SARAH
For
breakfast. We were
out of corn flakes. I
ate the leftover pizza too.
DAVID
(laughs)
You are possibly the weirdest woman I have ever known.
SARAH
What?
DAVID
And
I love you.
SARAH
You
do?
Because I'm weird or in spite of the fact that I'm weird?
DAVID
Because
you're you.
SARAH
That's
a disgustingly Hallmark thing to
say. And you don't
want to make me
nauseous considering our relative positions.
DAVID
(unperturbed)
If you were down here, I'd
kiss you.
SARAH
That's
nice.
DAVID
You
know...if you came down, we could go
inside and...I could rub your behind for you.
SARAH
Hmm.
DAVID
I
might even let you rub mine.
SARAH
What
about dinner?
DAVID
We
could work up an appetite. (pause)
Do you need a hand?
SARAH
I'm
not coming down.
DAVID
But
I thought...I said I'd cook.
SARAH
You
can bring it out here.
DAVID
What?
Eat in the tree?
SARAH
Sure.
Like a picnic.
DAVID
I
don't know. Is
there room up there for me?
SARAH
Why?
DAVID
Because
if you're eating dinner in a
tree, I'm going to eat mine up there with you.
I'm not going to be sitting at the kitchen table watching
Brady Bunch
reruns and waiting for you to wander in the door with your dirty dish
or worse,
listening for you to drop it on someone's head.
SARAH
I
wouldn't do that.
DAVID
Maybe.
But yesterday if someone asked, not that they'd be likely
to, but if
they did ask me, "Is Sarah the sort of woman to sit in trees?" I'd have said, "Well, on
balance,
no. She always
struck me as someone who
had her feet on the ground."
SARAH
True.
DAVID
So
I'm coming up.
SARAH
No.
You can't.
DAVID
You
sure? (starts to
climb)
SARAH
Yes.
No. Get
down. David!
Please. (stands
up and clings to the
trunk as if looking for a way further up.)
DAVID
Why
don't you want me to come up?
SARAH
I
want to be alone.
DAVID
But
you're not alone. I'm
here.
Just lower.
SARAH
Alone
in my tree.
DAVID
If
you want to be alone, why can't you
just have a bath?
SARAH
Not
the same thing.
DAVID
No,
you're right. A
bath is not a tree.
SARAH
Hey
- you know what the Millers have in
their back yard?
DAVID
No.
SARAH
Absolutely
nothing. Not even a
pink flamingo on a spike. They
really are the most boring people I have
ever met. They must
buy their grass from
Woolworth's.
DAVID
Why
not?
They get everything else there.
SARAH
Don't
they have grandchildren?
DAVID
I
think so.
SARAH
What
do those kids do when they
visit? Dust the
Astroturf?
DAVID
Sit
inside and play Monopoly.
SARAH
Checkers.
DAVID
They
knit.
SARAH
Crochet.
Eat liver.
DAVID
Brussel
sprouts. Watch
educational television.
SARAH
They
don't have a television. I
looked.
DAVID
They
read the Bible then.
SARAH
Memorize
Shakespeare's sonnets.
DAVID
My
God. They're populating the world
with little boring people. We
have to
stop them before it's too late.
SARAH
It
already is.
DAVID
Can
you see into the Manicucci's yard?
SARAH
No,
not really. Why?
DAVID
Tony
told me that Laurie sunbathes naked
sometimes.
SARAH
He
told you that? About
his wife? Why?
DAVID
I'm
not sure actually.
SARAH
Anyway,
it's too dark for sunbathing
right now.
DAVID
Maybe.
SARAH
You
ever have a tree house?
DAVID
No.
SARAH
Me
either. Do you
think it would be strange to have one
now?
DAVID
A
little.
SARAH
Maybe.
Maybe I'll build one for the kids and then sneak up and
use it when
they're at school.
DAVID
When
we have kids.
SARAH
Right.
(sits again)
DAVID
What
is it about trees anyway?
SARAH
I
like them. I like
sitting in them. It's
so...I don't know...safe.
DAVID
Safe?
SARAH
When
I was a kid and things in the house
got --, well, I used to take two or three Macintosh apples and a book
and climb
this one tree in our backyard. Actually,
it was an overgrown bush. Like
a tree
only no trunk, like someone had buried a tree up to where the branches
start. So it was
easy to climb. And
I would take my book and my apples and
hide in this tree for hours, reading, eating.
It was really nice.
Peaceful. Safe.
DAVID
Aren't
you safe now? Don't
I make you feel safe?
SARAH
Yes,
you do, in general. I
just don't feel very safe today.
DAVID
Why
not?
SARAH
(pause)
You know why being in a tree is
so safe? It's
between - not in the sky,
not on the ground. If
I'm between
places, I can't do anything so I don't have to do anything. No responsibility. Not a grownup, because I'm
sitting in a
tree. Not a child
because I'm too
old. Between. You know what I was
thinking about on my way
home today? On the
first stroke of
midnight on New Year's Eve, the old year ends.
Right. Next
year begins on the
last stroke of midnight. So
between the
first stroke and the last stroke - there's not even a year. Can you imagine? No time.
No such thing as early or late.
No early. Or
late. (she laughs)
DAVID
Sweetie?
You're rambling a little.
SARAH
Am
I?
DAVID
What's
wrong?
SARAH
We're
trying to have a baby.
DAVID
Yes.
But I thought you were happy about that.
SARAH
And
if we do have a baby, that'll make
us parents.
DAVID
Almost
definitely.
SARAH
And
parents are grown ups.
DAVID
Not
always.
SARAH
But
mostly.
DAVID
Yes,
mostly.
SARAH
I'm
not ready.
DAVID
To
have a baby?
SARAH
To
be a grown up.
DAVID
So
you're sitting in a tree.
SARAH
Yes.
DAVID
(gently)
It doesn't make you a kid again, you know.
It makes you a grown woman sitting in a tree.
SARAH
To
you maybe. To Mrs.
Gottlieb. Not to me.
It makes me feel safe.
DAVID
Well,
it's a good thing. To
feel safe.
SARAH
Yes.
DAVID
So
I should go home, right? Leave
you to feel safe in your tree?
SARAH
Thanks.
DAVID
Okay.
Will you tell me what all this is about over dinner?
SARAH
Maybe.
Maybe I'll tell you over dessert.
DAVID
I'll
look forward to that.
SARAH
David?
DAVID
Yes?
SARAH
I
love you.
DAVID
I
love you too. (squeezes
her foot) Even if
you are a little weird.
SARAH
In
spite of or because of? (pause)
I'm glad.
DAVID
See
you at home?
SARAH
Probably.
DAVID
Tonight?
SARAH
Probably.
DAVID
You
don't need help getting down? I
could come back in like an hour.
SARAH
I'm
okay. I mean, I got
up here. I ought to
be able to get back down.
DAVID
Doesn't
always follow.
SARAH
True.
But I'll be okay. Me
Jane. Me big strong
woman.
DAVID
You
are, you know.
SARAH
You
really think so?
DAVID
Yes.
SARAH
Thanks.
DAVID
See
you?
SARAH
In
a few minutes.
(David
leaves)
(Sarah
sits for a moment in silence,
half-smiling. Then
she puts her hand
delicately, hesitantly, on her stomach and whispers…)
Between.
Alive but not yet born.
Hear
that, you there? We're
okay. We're safe.
Me big strong woman.
Me Jane.
(She
gets down as music comes up - Better Not Look
Down, by B.B. King)